The U.S. presidential elections are usually a big deal worldwide. As part of the security council and as an economic superpower, we (aka the rest of the world) care about who’s holding the reins. Of course, it goes without saying that this year’s horserace has been followed by even the most politically indifferent. It’s what you get when watching a political debate resembles a weird alternate universe in which Dolores Umbridge and Kylo Ren are fighting for the Iron Throne. From the top of our heads, we could think of 20 questionable antiheroes who would make better presidents.
1. Lelouch Lamperouge
Lelouch is actually of royal blood, which means the throne belongs to him…sort of. He did go psycho and his fancy eye code broke, but he still has the power to convince (force) people to do as he says. He’s just a lost activist. I’m sure he’ll calm down once he’s in power.
Evident anger management issues, questionable morals, but kind of a badass. You see, if it’s all going to go to shit, it might as well be under someone who’s terrifyingly fabulous.
3. Amazing Amy
Yes, she’s a murderer. But women’s rights would be front and center. Paid maternity leave for all, am I right?
I mean, we know he’s corrupt. But if you think about it, it’s better the devil you know than the devil you don’t. It is a little concerning that he’s kind of a rapist, but nobody cares these days, right? Also, there’s some hope that Aladdin will show up and save us. And if he fails at saving us, at least we get to see those abs one more time.
5. Cersei Lannister
She is vicious, she is ruthless, and she’s birthed her brother’s babies. (Not how Phoebe birthed her brother’s triplets, btw.) But if anyone can defeat ISIS, it’s this girl.
6. Sōsuke Aizen
This pack of lies in human form can only be rivaled by the Clinton Foundation. Or Trump’s tax returns. He even faked needing glasses! But still, he actually took the time to have a thorough plan of action. Ffs, the dude CREATED an army of Arrancars.
7. Harley Quinn
First of all, Harleen Quinzel has an MD. Second of all, she’s a psychiatrist, which means she really understands people and their tantrums. I do realize that sometimes she understands them too well, but as long as no joker is in the picture, Harley is a pretty high-functioning sociopath that will ensure everything’s as it should be.
8. Lady Macbeth
Bitches get shit done.
9. Mr. Robot
When he’s not busy being Elliot Alderson’s dead father, he’s technically nobody. And while none of his faces / personalities are ideal, at least we get to switch him back and forth. It’s like getting two horrible candidates in one. Now, the reality is Mr. Robot is 24/7 an anarchist. So there is hope that he’ll incite a revolution and then disappear. That plan has some potential. #fsociety
10. Regina George
We have all been personally victimized by Regina George. But that girl’s tough. She’s a fighter. She won’t quit. She’s the definition of stamina. She even got run over by a bus and still managed to look amazing.
This dude is not even a human but, if we just switch up some things at the White House, it’ll do. Let us not forget that Scar has always known that we’re surrounded by idiots. Yes, he might have thrown his own brother off a cliff, but maybe Mufasa was a corrupt leader? Do we really know what happened there? They don’t have Wikileaks in the jungle, so we can’t say for sure that Scar didn’t do what needed to be done.
I’m not going to go as far and nominate Naraku for president, but I do support Kagura, even if she’s an extension of him (it?). From early on she wanted to disassociate herself from him, and paid the ultimate price to achieve it. She’s a self-sacrificing, strong, trying-to-be independent young woman that deserves a chance to do some good.
13. Lex Luthor
At least he was actually successful as a businessman.
This girl gets a bad rap, but you can be sure that the US will never miss a party again. With or without invitation. Wait…
Meticulous, intellectual, and everybody’s spirit animal. Yzma is the frustrated-with-the-system Bernie Sanders of the Incas. Sans the “greater good” aspect, that is.
16. Kylo Ren
Sure, the dude has the personality of a 5-year-old who missed his nap time, but have you seen his hair? It’s a good thing there aren’t any previous leaders overshadowing him or anything…
17. Dolores Umbridge
Don’t let her pink frills and kitten decor fool you. Dolores is a pit bull. Once she’s got her teeth around something, good luck getting her to let go. This is the woman who tortured children for lying. Just imagine what she could do to the enemies of the state.
19. Frank Castle
Just consider that this dude is known as “The Punisher.” You want to win bigly? Frank Castle will win for you. He don’t need no congress, he don’t need no laws. The Punisher will take matters into his own hands and bring you RESULTS.
20. The Demogorgon
Hey, at least the dude’s charismatic.
Who You Should Actually Vote For President this November 8th: Charles Xavier
Professor X’s socialist tendencies rank him as an “antihero” in some people’s lists. But, under his rule we would all live in harmony. He’ll never need to use e-mails thanks to his telepathic powers. (Which means he will know when Russia or China are actually plotting something). Charles Xavier will be a defender of education, he will revamp the public school system, and he will “Make America Read Again.” What more do you want? (Ignore the little voices in your head, unless it’s Charles.)
Are there any other problematic geniuses you’d want to nominate for president? Let us know in the comments.