Fans of A Series of Unfortunate Events began shedding tears this week as Netflix abruptly released not just a trailer, but Lemony Snicket’s face. If you know anything about the Series, it is that the elusive figure of the narrator is invisible even to the Baudelaire orphans. Which is saying a lot, given that he is not just an outside observer, but a key player plot-wise. While Lemony Snicket was completely ostracized from that one unfortunate movie, here he is already breaking the fourth wall. You can see for yourselves below:
I understand that this is a teaser. Which implies that it’s here to tease us into madness. But damn. Just when I was getting used to the idea that the trailer would only include our narrator, Count Olaf (played by Neil Patrick Harris) started laughing in the background. What is important is that, so far, the actors look legitimate AF. Patrick Warburton is nailing the character of Lemony Snicket in looks and in performance. And of course, they’ve picked the most unfortunate day to release the series, Friday the 13th (of January). SO FAR SO GOOD, NETFLIX.
Here’s to hoping that the show is everything we want it to be: depressing and sassy. Really, all I’m asking is for it to be better than the movie. And that, my friends, is not asking for a lot. Like, at all.
Anyways, I give you 20 quotes by Lemony Snicket himself to help with the thirst. They cover all ground including the original 13 books, Horseradish, and The Beatrice Letters. If you want to know where I got my sarcasm and cynicism from, I blame Daniel Handler and his alter ego.
1. “They didn’t understand it, but like so many unfortunate events in life, just because you don’t understand it doesn’t mean it isn’t so.”
2. “Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don’t always like.”
3. “Wicked people never have time for reading. It’s one of the reasons for their wickedness.”
4. “Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world, and that nobody loves them now and that nobody will ever love them, and that they will never have a decent night’s sleep again and will spend their lives wandering blearily around a loveless landscape, hoping desperately that their circumstances will improve, but suspecting, in their heart of hearts, that they will remain unloved forever. The best thing to do in these circumstances is to wake somebody else up, so that they can feel this way, too.”
5. “People aren’t either wicked or noble. They’re like chef’s salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict.”
6. “Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.”
7. “If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf.”
8. “A good library will never be too neat, or too dusty, because somebody will always be in it, taking books off the shelves and staying up late reading them.”
9. “When someone is crying, of course, the noble thing to do is to comfort them. But if someone is trying to hide their tears, it may also be noble to pretend you do not notice them.”
10. “All the secrets of the world are contained in books. Read at your own risk.”
11. “Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.”
12. “It is one of life’s bitterest truths that bedtime so often arrives just when things are really getting interesting.”
13. “Strange as it may seem, I still hope for the best, even though the best, like an interesting piece of mail, so rarely arrives, and even when it does it can be lost so easily.”
14. “…you know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit.”
15. “If you are a student you should always get a good nights sleep unless you have come to the good part of your book, and then you should stay up all night and let your schoolwork fall by the wayside, a phrase which means ‘flunk’.”
16. “There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you, and there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.”
17. “It is likely I will die next to a pile of things I was meaning to read.”
18. “Grief, a type of sadness that most often occurs when you have lost someone you love, is a sneaky thing, because it can disappear for a long time, and then pop back up when you least expect it.”
19. “There are two kinds of fears: rational and irrational- or in simpler terms, fears that make sense and fears that don’t.”
20. “At times the world may seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe that there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough. and what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events may in fact be the first steps of a journey.”
Did we miss any of your favorite Lemony Snicket quotes? Let us know in the comments section down below.