This is a spoiler-filled Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 4, “The Spoils of War” recap
“The Queen’s Justice” kicked this season into high gear, but nothing could’ve prepared us for the massive, Dothraki and dragon-aided Targaryen attack from “The Spoils of War.” The Mother of Dragons chose Olenna Tyrell’s philosophy over Tyrion and Jon Snow’s advice.
Was it the correct move? We think the implications of said decision are already starting to take their toll. For one, Jaime Lannister almost killed her right there and then after Drogon was forced to land after being struck by Bronn’s spear.
While Cersei’s contraption sort of worked, her army has still suffered a tremendous loss, and Jaime’s status will probably remain a mystery to her for a couple of episodes. Will she have enough drive to jump back up, or will Daenerys’ offensive attack prove to be the winning tactic against a scheming and strategic Cersei?
In other news, Arya Stark makes it to Winterfell where she leaves Sansa and Littlefinger awestruck with her combat abilities. The Stark Family Reunion ™ is almost happening. We’re only missing Jon Snow, who has just made a friend in Daenerys Targaryen.
A brief commentary on what went down in Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 4, “The Spoils of War”
Bronn’s back and is the only person to laugh at the name “Dickon”
G: Seriously. Why did it take this long for people to be like “trololol, that’s your name?” I always appreciate Bronn’s style.
R: I’d like to take a moment to appreciate the fact that Bronn, the sellsword-turned-knight who kicked someone out of the Moon Door, lit up the bay in the Battle of Blackwater, shot down a dragon, and laughed at a man whose name begins with ‘Dick’ is probably now so legendary across all of Westeros that ballads are sung about him. Not only that, but Bronn clearly read The Hobbit, unlike Daenerys.
M: I wish his last name was Dickon and his first name was Richard so he could be the Nova (Richard Rider) of Game of Thrones. “Dick Dickon? Do we have a Dick Dickon on the battlefield?”
Arya Stark FINALLY MAKES IT HOME
G: Arya’s face when she realized Sansa didn’t mention Rikon’s name after Bran? Tragic. Also, as public service, can Bran explain who the fuck were the people Arya was “training” with?
R: Brienne looked like she was three seconds away from signing adoption papers after that sparring match.
M: As happy as I am to see Arya home with her family, I’m so worried about Sansa. Reunited with her remaining living family but the only one to not be “special”. With Littlefinger around, I hope she’s able to stand on her own and not be manipulated out of fear.
Jon Snow definitely draws the White Walkers in the catacombs and secures alliance with Daenerys
G: The whole thing almost made me ship them again. But the JonxSansa ship is too strong.
R: Where are all the Modern AU fanfictions of Jon Snow shirking his responsibilities as a nobleman by going to art school?
M: “Hey girl, I heard you like fire so check out this straight fire artwork I drew on this rock.”
Littlefinger gives Bran Stark a dagger and is sketchy as always
G: I honestly think Littlefinger has completely lost his grip on the game, but I also need him to stop taking up screen time because he still makes me uncomfortable.
R: Have we started taking bets on whether or not that dagger is how Littlefinger dies?
M: A guy named Littlefinger would try to give a small weapon to a teenage boy as a gift.
Theon Greyjoy makes it back to Daenerys, but it’s actually Jon who’s there
G: Jon grabbing Theon and being like “I’m not gonna murder you because you saved Sansa”? I’m LIVING.
R: Without any context whatsoever it really looked like Jon and Theon were about to get to smoochin’.
M: I thought they were going to make out but that might just be me projecting my desire to see Jon have sex with everyone on this show.
G: Matt, you don’t have to be so honest all the time…
Daenerys Targaryen disregards all advice and burns Lannister
G: In all honesty, seeing Dany take charge didn’t feel as satisfying as I thought it would. Jon’s words really wounded me/affected me emotionally.
R: I’m really nervous that Daenerys flying into battle and leaving a wake of destruction is an escalation of her downward spiral. After all… cruelty and madness run in her family.
M: Turn off the volume of this battle and just play Adele’s 21 in the background. Trust me, it’s a better experience.
“The Spoils of War” Episode Vitals:
Dany would be dead right now if it weren’t because of him. Also, he sustained battle wounds. Take it easy from now on, Drogon.
Favorite Moment: Arya FINALLY making it back to Winterfell and battling Brienne
Biggest Annoyance: Littlefinger being sketchy as fuck around Bran
Race for the Throne:
Fourth Place: Euron Greyjoy
Euron had been doing pretty good, but didn’t even make an appearance this episode. Which means what? That Cersei still doesn’t care about him, and Cersei herself just suffered a huge loss. So, what exactly are you standing on, Euron?
Third Place: Cersei Lannister
Maybe the Iron Bank will give her a loan, but she’s pretty much obliterated right now and probably won’t know her brother/lover is alive.
Second Place: Jon Snow
We keep saying this, but Jon Snow is playing the best game without knowing it. He hasn’t bent the knee but has an alliance with Dany and has all the Dragonglass he needs to defeat the army of the undead. We don’t know what will happen between Cersei and Daenerys, but Jon Snow’s about to be their lord and savior.
First Place: Daenerys Targaryen
Maybe she shouldn’t have charged in there like it was nobody’s business. Perhaps she should’ve listened to Jon. It could be she’s the same as the rest after all. But none of that changes the fact that Daenerys Targaryen rode into Westeros like a fucking champ and grabbed the situation by the dragon horns.