This is a spoiler-filled Game of Thrones S7E01, “Dragonstone” recap
Welcome back to the Game of Feels. Winter is here, and we’re a long way from where “Winds of Winter” left us. Arya’s headed south. Daenerys has arrived in Westeros. Jon and Sansa are trying to keep Winterfell afloat while Littlefinger meddles in their business. And Bran makes it to Castle Black. All the while, Sam is swimming in feces and textbooks.
Cersei has invited over Euron Greyjoy, supposedly to offer her hand in marriage. However, she coarsely refuses him after tormenting Jaime over the prospect of her wedding. As to be expected, the threat of the White Walkers is felt only by Bran, Jon, Sam, and the rest of the Night’s Watch.
The point is: this just ain’t summer anymore.
A brief commentary on what went down in Game of Thrones S7E01, “Dragonstone”
Jon and Sansa try their best amidst Littlefinger’s scheming
R: There’s little in Game of Thrones that gives me more anxiety than these three standing in a room together. Good on Sophie, Kit, and Aiden for being able to convey that hair-trigger sense of distrust their characters have for one another. No doubt the tension will reach a boiling point sooner rather than later, and the fallout will be ugly. Will Jon kill Littlefinger? Will Sansa? Will Jon and Sansa make out a little? We all saw the camera linger on that arm grab. Only time will tell now.
G: Was Jon right to pardon two youngsters for their fathers’ betrayals? Most likely. Was Sansa right to advise him not to be overly kind? Definitely. Does Littlefinger need to stop meddling in the badass TEAM OF THE NORTH’s business? 100%.
Jaime and Cersei are definitely over the honeymoon phase
R: Jaime’s one floor-map conversation away from peacing out of King’s Landing for good and living the rest of his life as a farmer.
G: After losing all of his children, Jaime gives exactly a rat’s ass about who gets to keep the Iron Throne. All he wanted was for Cersei to pack up and run away with him…but no. Cersei wants to look at floor maps instead.
Euron Greyjoy’s proposal fails
R: This Coldplay-looking douchebag can sail right back to where he came from, thanks.
G: I didn’t like Euron Greyjoy when he was being a dick and stealing the Iron Islands from his nephews. However, I thoroughly enjoy Sass King Euron and his “I brought two good hands” presence in King’s Landing.
Arya mass-murders on her way to King’s Landing
G: Always RSVP “No” for House Frey.
R: There’s only one direction Arya should be headed as far as I’m concerned and that’s towards a reunion with Jon but nooooooooo she just has to go and kill the queen.
The Hound sees things/converts
R: Whether it happens this season or next, Game of Thrones is undoubtedly ramping up to a battle royale between the Clegane brothers. And while The Hound is skilled in combat, he’s not exactly a terrifying giant zombie-thing. Which leads me to believe that becoming BFFs with Thoros is going to come in handy. We know from interviews that Beric is losing his touch and become less human from all of the times he’s been resurrected. So does this mean Thoros and the Lord of Light will be turning their attention to greener pastures and grumpier killing machines? A girl can dream.
G: I just want to say that my heart is still aching over Sandor Clegane burying bodies while it was freezing cold out.
Meera delivers Bran to the Night’s Watch
R: Can Dolores Ed haul Bran’s sled to Jon a little faster, please? That’d be great.
G: I just really need these people to inform Jon his baby brother’s alive–wait. IS HE NOT GOING TO BE KING IN THE NORTH ANYMORE? Although tbh, Bran’s going to be like, “just pretend I’m dead.”
Daenerys finally arrives in Westeros
G: The only thing Daenerys Targaryen needed to say this episode was, “Shall we begin?” YES, BITCH. I’ve only been waiting SEVEN YEARS for you to begin.
R: Thanks to Sam we now know that Dany’s ancestral home is a hotbed for Dragon Glass so it’s only a matter of episodes until she and Jon are introduced. This also heavily hints at a reunion between Jon and Tyrion, which is one of the moments I’m looking forward to the most this season.
Samwell lives the good life and finds location of dragon glass reserve
G: I should’ve known that somewhere within those piles of puke and shit, Jorah Mormont would resurface.
R: Sam is the most good and pure thing about this show. I just want him and Gilly to save the day and then be happy forever. They can live in a nice house, raise Gilly’s son, maybe pay a visit to ‘Uncle Jon’ every once in awhile. It’ll be great.
“Dragonstone” Episode Vitals:
MVP: Lyanna Mormont
What’s more amazing than a tiny, adorable, ten-year-old girl shutting down a room full of angry, sexist soldiers? Nothing. Lyanna Mormont is truly a beam of light amidst the weekly doom-and-gloom of Game of Thrones.
Biggest Annoyance: Honestly? That Arya isn’t heading to Winterfell
We’re just going to have to wait on that Stark Family Reunion™.
Favorite Moment: Arya Stark slaying all of House Frey
Winter is HERE and it came for Walder Frey. Also, what a way to open up Season 7. Game of Thrones is not playing any games (lol) with the time they have left.
Best Line: “It’s a new one.” – Ed Sheeran, in response to Arya’s, “I’ve never heard that one before.”
Race for the Throne:
Fourth Place: Cersei Lannister
Homegirl does not seem to have a plan other than drawing maps and making smelly men sail across seas just so she can reject them.
Third Place: Euron Greyjoy
We were tempted to say he was last (given that, as opposed to Cersei, he’s not actually sitting on the Iron Throne). Yet, this guy seems insane enough to pull some weird stunt on a practically defeated Cersei and find himself sitting on the throne by tea time.
Second Place: Jon Snow
Does Jon want your throne? No, he does not. But with things getting so messy in King’s Landing, Winterfell might actually be all that’s left of Westeros. Give it a couple of weeks.
First Place: Daenerys Targaryen
Sister has got dragons. Sister has got an army. And sister has got momentum now that she’s plotting her next move right in Westeros. Also, she already has a castle that looks way cooler than Cersei’s. (It does need some cleaning because Stannis, though).