20 Reasons Why Jughead Jones Is the Best Riverdale Character

Fridays used to be everybody’s favorite day of the week. They symbolized freedom, drinks, and not having to wake up early the next day. Yet, that all became second best when the CW released Riverdale, making Thursdays something more than just the antithesis to TGIF. Riverdale Thursdays are its own holiday, and it has Cole Sprouse’s Jughead Jones to thank.

But what makes Jughead Jones such a presence in our lives? I think it’d be faster to list what doesn’t. But, because I’m always down for #ColeSprouseWastingMyTime2017, let’s just take the long way home.

1. Jughead’s brutal honesty


© CW Riverdale via GIPHY

In a time of fakes news and alternative facts, it’s safe to say we’ve become very appreciative of sincerity. Brutal honesty is Jughead Jones’ trademark. He revels in being straight-forward and doesn’t care about the labels it garners him. If Jughead thinks you’re out of line, he will tell you. I mean, ask Betty. I’m sure she can trust Jughead’s judgement when she asks if the dress looks good on her or not. (Then again, just because he’s honest doesn’t mean he can’t be biased).

2. His smarts


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What’s the point of being eloquent and frank if what comes out of your mouth is utter crap? Not the case with good ol’ Juggie. Not only is Jughead inherently smart, but he’s also a writer and a cinephile. This means he’s constantly exercising his mind. Plus, have you seen his sleuthing skills? Only downside is, if Jughead and Betty ever find themselves in a situation where Betty is planning a secret birthday party, Jughead might pick up on that before the big surprise. Wait…can they actually please DO this? (Wait, I’m told this is happening next episode…We’ll see if he figures it out).

3. His backstory

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As with many of the Archie characters, Jughead Jones’ backstory has changed a lot from page to screen. However, it is precisely this film noir, tortured soul aesthetic that has got us all swooning left and right. Mommy issues? Daddy issues? Absent sister? Riverdale‘s Jughead has got it all, that and a fearless vagabond soul. And I’m not here to advocate for becoming homeless in order to attract mating partners. I’m just saying that the heartbreak and the edginess make for some fine TV and character development.

4. His resilience

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Jughead’s backstory would be plain tragedy if it weren’t for his constant striving. Many of his decisions are worthy of admiration. Take, for instance, the fact that he found a place to live on his own, that he didn’t desert his father, and that he never called the authorities to be placed under proper care. Sure, most children wouldn’t do that to their parents, but also most children aren’t literally in harm’s way because of their parent. I can still hear his earth-shattering words: “I’ll figure it out, dad. I always do.” Bb, you is a teenager! Puberty is hard enough! Buy yourself a milkshake!

5. His personality

jughead jones riverdale cw

© CW Riverdale via Tumblr

With such a rough upbringing and such a tough current situation, anyone would expect Jughead to become ice cold. Somebody in this circumstance almost has the right to be a bigger dick than Reggie. He has the trauma to back up any deviant instinct. But Jughead stays true to himself. He’s sweet, he’s understanding, and he’s always there for his friends (especially Betty and Archie). Instead of using his sadness for evil, he has harnessed it to become more understanding and perceptive of his friends’ problems. He is the perfect tsundere. Which makes sense, because Cole Sprouse is a big anime fan.

6. The Jughead Jones Aesthetic


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And speaking of anime aesthetic… Remember that scene where Jughead is crouched up on one of the booths at Pop’s and reaches out to steal that boy scout’s cherry? That’s inspired by L from Death Note. Cole Sprouse confirmed it on Twitter himself.  That being said, the Jughead Jones Aesthetic goes further than that, and it involves a skater boy/brooding writer mesh, all there to hide a subtly toned body. Jughead coming out of the shower? Yes. Sleeveless Jughead carrying heavy equipment while flexing? Double yes.

7. The Jughead Jones Beanie

jughead jones riverdale cw

© CW Riverdale via Tumblr

Let me stop you right there before you say the Beanie™ is part of the aesthetic. The Beanie™ is a separate entity. It’s its own thing. Aside from being an insanely clever way to keep Jughead’s whoopee hat/crown hat from the original comics, it is also amazing. Keep in mind, however, that Cole Sprouse said in an interview that there is only one beanie. (I.e. it’s starting to smell). Think of all those wet-haired Jughead scenes…

8. His real name


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Sorry, but the fact that Jughead Jones’ real name is Forsythe Pendleton Jones III is so attractive. And his sister Jellybean? Forsythia! Aren’t we all, deep down, about weird/foreign names? Forsythe > Archibald > Reginald.

9. Jughead Jones Wuz Here

jughead jones riverdale cw

© CW Riverdale via Tumblr

That’s it. I have no further comments. I just like thinking about how heartbroken I felt watching this.

10. Bughead

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Jughead is perfect on his own, but when we get to see him protecting/courting/kissing Betty? What a time to be alive. Jughead Jones and Betty Cooper are #goals and #otp. I don’t have a ballpark for how many times I’ve rewatched the scene where Jughead and Betty kiss. But at this point, I’m confident I can swap myself in for Betty if I squint my eyes hard enough.

11. His appetite


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Jughead’s relationship with food is even purer than the one I have with food. Which is saying a lot. Food is my #RideorDie. I bet Jughead’s favorite superhero is Spiderman. Not just because I can draw comparisons between him and Peter Parker, but because Peter possess the ability to shoot out spider webs to steal all the food.

12. His smile


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I’m not even going to ask you to raise your hand if you’ve ever felt personally victimized by Jughead Jones’ smile. Because we all have. *swoon*

13. His sarcasm

jughead jones riverdale cw

© CW Riverdale via Tumblr

Although also part of his personality, Jughead’s brand of sardonic is worth noting. Seriously, the guy has the best line every episode. Exhibit A: “It’s called necrophilia, Reggie. Can you spell it?” Exhibit B: “Sardonic humor is just my way of relating to the world.” Uhm, Exhibit C: “We’re not gonna hug in front of this whole town. So why don’t we both just do that bro thing where we nod like douches and mutually suppress our emotions?” Exhibit D: “Hey, don’t judge a home for troubled youths by its facade.” You get it.

14. His vulnerability

jughead jones riverdale cw

© CW Riverdale via Tumblr

Jughead’s the perfect balance between self-reliant and vulnerable. It’s precisely that tension that makes the moments when he opens up so beautiful. Because, let’s face it. If Jughead were crying about his dad all the time, we’d probably still feel bad but would also want him to grow a pair. Instead, Jughead tries to take care of his own problems but allows himself to be helped when the time is right (like moving in with Archie).

15. He’s a man of many talents

jughead jones riverdale cw

© CW Riverdale via Tumblr

Detective skills? Yes. Writer? Yes. Construction worker? Yes. Knows about movies, has a high vocabulary, can climb stairs up to your balcony, loves you unconditionally, can survive on his own… Sign me the hell up.

16. He sighs in relief after kissing you

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It’s not thirst, and it’s not desperation. When Jughead and Betty kissed for the first time, it was more about a deep, deep relief. Find you a man who will not just be happy he kissed you, but relieved. Have him stare at you afterwards as if his mind can finally be at ease knowing he did what he needed to do to get here.

17. He’ll protect you


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Jughead Jones might not be confrontational, but if he needs to fuck somebody up because they’re messing with you, he’s there. Especially if your name is Betty. But I’m sure he’d show up for other people, too.

18. His facial expressions


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If Riverdale was a show solely based on Jughead’s facial expressions, I’d probably be down for watching at least two seasons. As in, just Jughead making faces at the camera for 40 minutes. In fact, now that I’m thinking about it, it almost sounds like what heaven would be like…That, and a giant library.

19. Three words for ya: tall, dark, and brooding

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© CW Riverdale via Tumblr

You know how the “perfect little girl” is made up of sugar, spice, and everything nice? Well, the ideal man for me is tall, dark, and brooding. Meaning, you could give Archie all of Jughead’s qualities, but it just wouldn’t be quite the same.

20. The fact that he’s Cole Sprouse


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When I was pre-pubescent, my crush on Cody from The Suite Life of Zack and Cody certainly didn’t derail my life. There were less hormones involved, less social media, the guy hadn’t dyed his hair black, he hadn’t gone to NYU…The list goes on. But really, Cole Sprouse has blossomed into a nerd icon and I love him for it. And for his face. Which is also really nice, as are his smarts. Did y’all know he wrote a comic book once?

*sigh*

I’m going to stop myself now, because I realize we’re already at 20. But I’m sure there’s around a million reasons why Jughead Jones is the best Riverdale character ever. So, if you want to add to the conversation, just drop those ideas in the comments section down below.

Happy #RiverdaleThursday! Live tweet with us @TheNerdLeague.
Check out “Riverdale Characters: Myers-Briggs Personality Types” here.

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