This is Season 2 Episode 1 of The Magicians: “Knight of Crowns”
When season one of The Magicians ended, things didn’t look too good for the Brakebills squad. Penny had no hands. Alice was bleeding out on the floor. Eliot and Margo were knocked out of this earth. Julia had run off with the Beast, blade in hand and ready to strike a deal. And Quentin? Homeboy couldn’t even tell he was still breathing. So, what is a knight of crowns, and what can this person do for the sad bunch?
Obviously, the start of The Magicians season two didn’t sound promising. Unsure of whether or not the rest of the squad had actually died, we follow Quentin as he tries to find help in the forest. He finds a creepy AF cottage and exchanges a vial of his blood in exchange for the occupant’s help. The old lady follows him to the well. Of course, when they arrive Alice has already single-handedly resuscitated herself and the gang using Ember’s power. As Margo would point out, swallowing does have its perks.
Julia and the Beast (aka Martin Chatwin) are still at large. They re-emerge on a ball pen at some rando children’s restaurant. They strike a deal in which Martin agrees to help her defeat the trickster god in exchange for the only blade that could kill him. #ThanksJulia. The duo travel to Florida to investigate the scene of a similar crime to the one that took place at Julia’s. Throughout the episode, Martin and Julia do some weird bonding. Martin suggests Julia removes the “shade” that keeps her emotions tied to her judgement. He demonstrates what it could feel like, but Julia decides to keep them. Um, thanks for that one good call?
Back at Fillory, Margo and Penny take a detour to the fountain so Penny can get his hands re-attached. It all worked well except for Penny yelling at the keeper of the fountain and refusing to pay him. He leaves with his hands fixed, but needs to return later as they start acting up. By the end of the episode, the keeper is still refusing to help a petulant Penny, telling him to go fuck himself. Bless.
Eliot still has to uphold his marriage and needs to be crowned High King of Fillory. The gang travels to the crowning area and are met by a half-dead Knight of Crowns. The Knight asks Eliot 90s pop culture questions to certify he is the worthy ruler of Fillory. Eliot wins him over by performing Patrick Swayze’s Dirty Dancing monologue. The very legitimate ceremony culminates in Eliot and Margo being crowned as High Kings and Quentin and Alice being crowned as…just kings. Penny gets to watch the whole event in mild discomfort. The gang reconciles after the unfortunate threesome. Sort of.
The coronation grants them access to Castle Whitepsire, where Eliot’s new wife is expecting them, and the Armory (an arsenal of books, apparently). The library that was once filled up to the brim with battle magic books, is pretty much empty except for a sad farming section. Alice does find a set of incomplete notes, which results in the gang having to return to Brakebills sans Eliot.
The new High King of Fillory is trying to make the most of his new role as king, but is devastated by the reality that his friends will return to Earth and might not be back in his lifetime. You know, thanks to the time difference between Earth and wherever the hell Fillory is.
Oh, and: before they arrive at the castle, Quentin tries comforting Alice, she grows a tree from a little seed, and then makes out with him. She insists, however, that they are never, ever getting back together.
That’s it for the season premiere of The Magicians. The show is retaining its pop culture references, the characters remain faithful to their season one development, and the world of Fillory remains as unclear as ever. I’m so glad we’re going back to Brakebills. My head is spinning.
“Knight of Crowns” Episode Vitals
MVP: Alice, I guess. She kinda brought everyone back to life, so.
Biggest Annoyance: JULIA
Favorite Moment: Penny and his hand issues.
Funniest Line: “How do I put this in a way you’ll understand…Ah, f*ck off.”