This is Season 2 Episode 13 of The Magicians: “We Have Brought You Little Cakes”
We start off the Magicians season finale with the lover of little cakes. Ember recalls how he created Fillory alongside his brother Umber, and how he has terrorized its inhabitants for years. After admitting to being responsible for the blank pages and every little rotten thing going on in Fillory and the whole of human magic, he returns us to Earth where the gang is still trying to figure things out.
Penny is paying the ultimate price
So after all this crap about the Poison Room and the blank pages and what have you, Penny suffers the brunt of it by developing cancer in his spine. We find him at the Brakebills infirmary, being told that if nothing is done, he’ll die in two weeks’ time. We get a short heart-warming moment between Kady and Penny, before the librarians come back to reclaim Penny.
Our Best Bitch immediately heads out to find help. Remember the deaf lady from before? She agrees to help Kady in exchange for undercover library access. Kady agrees, saying she’ll keep Penny in the dark about their deal. Who this person really is and how she’s affecting the narrative in future is yet to be seen. For now, I’ll trust her because she’s saving Penny.
Margo and Josh kind of survive Fairyland
In Fairyland, Margo and Josh talk to the Fairy Queen who looks a lot like Cate Blanchett in The Chronicles of Narnia. She’s naked in a bathtub in some meadow and, while scrubbing her lady parts, advices Josh and Margo of the futility of their plans. She hands them a weird plant she promises will lure Ember out if baked into…you guessed it, little cakes, claiming that it is in her interest that the Children of Earth persevere. Like, I don’t know about that, boo. It’s already crazy enough that your castle is literally a copy of the Fillorian one.
With no room for bargaining, given that they can’t take back Eliot’s daughter and Fen refuses to leave her, Margo and Josh return to Fillory. The cost of commute? Margo’s eye. Once back, they alert Eliot of the situation, although at least there are no human rats in the court anymore.
Eliot recruits Julia and the master plan is set in motion
Okay, *deep breath* Eliot seeks out Julia, who is currently busy crying her heart…shade? out. She agrees to mess some shit up using her invisibility stone. The plan involves a sword, the stone, luring Ember with the little cakes, and Quentin tricking Umber into making a Fillorian appearance. In the end, the brothers confront each other, with Ember killing Umber, and then Julia distracting Umber so Quentin can stab him with the sword.
Surprisingly, it all worked out, and things were peaceful for two seconds in Fillory. That is until Fen arrived, toe-less, with the news that the Fairies were coming for them. To be honest, that was one bag bargain, because the Fairies pretty much beat her to it. Good luck getting your toes back…
Star-crossed lovers, Alice and Quentin back at it again
Man, these two keep coming in like a wrecking ball. At the beginning of the episode, Alice is still reluctant to live. Nothing Quentin does seems to sit well with her…that is until he awakens her carnal instincts with a plate of bacon. This, of course, turns into some Fox-like sexy time. In the end, Alice is fine with Quentin’s presence. But like everything good in The Magicians, it didn’t last long. Right after Quentin confesses to have killed Ember, Alice alerts him of the consequences of killing a god (they take magic away).
We then flash forward to the gang back at Brakebills (I didn’t see Penny, though??). They’re studying the theory of magic, waiting for the day it is returned to them. However, by the time class is dismissed, Alice is warned by her old friend Father Whateverhisface, that the enemies she made as a Niffin are coming to exact their revenge.
Karma’s a bitch, Alice. But only if you are.
“We Have Brought You Little Cakes” Episode Vitals
MVP: Quentin, for slaying a god
Biggest Annoyance: Penny having cancer
Favorite Moment: When Quentin slayed Ember
Funniest Line: Ember’s whole intro speech, actually.