Last Time On: Marco Polo

This Friday, July 1st Netflix is dropping that much awaited second season of Marco Polo. Because it has been so long since the first season aired (for our 21st century brains, at least), we’ve prepared a quick recap:

In Episode 10, “The Heavenly and Primal,” we finally get to see the Khan‘s attempt at taking over South China. While the troops are mobilizing, we switch from character to character as they fall into their season-finale positions.

Marco Polo is sweating as much as Kublai. His catapult contraption needs to be a hit. It doesn’t work on the first try, but “more counterweight” does the trick. Marco still can’t find a way around taking control of his own life, and Kokachin is all up in her tantrums, breaking Marco‘s nice gifts from the Silk Road. Listen, sister. If you don’t like the necklace, you can just ship it over to me.

© Netflix

In any case, Kokachin‘s betrothed is as broody as always. Except, this time Jingim is also 24/7 angry. It’s safe to say he doesn’t trust Marco and that his distrust in him is rooted in his own self-doubt. The prince challenges the Italian in hopes of defeating him before Hundred Eyes who, while not being able to see, still knows who’s getting their ass kicked. This duel ends in a “draw,” and Jingim is still pissed. Fortunately, the prince finally cuts Marco some slack after being protected by him (and Byamba) in battle. They also have a super bromance moment when Jingim calls Marco “brother.”

And speaking of Byamba, he’s just chilling. He’s totally done with this battle, even if he tries to act interested for Marco‘s sake, sharing war tactics and the like. Instead, he’s counting the minutes to seal the deal, or rather continue to seal the deal, with Khutulun, which he does. Go him. These people are certainly the OTP of this show.

Mei Lin is being a BAMF as always, but in Ahmad‘s hands she probably won’t be doing too well in life for long. I think we should still give her kudos for surviving this season. She surely had a tough run. And speaking of tough runs and survival, child-torturer Sidao finally lost his head to Hundred Eyes after almost fatally beating up Marco. His little scene with the kid emperor was cute. It almost made me like him, but then I remembered he broke in Ling-Ling‘s heels. I got over that sympathy real quick.

© Netflix

In the end, Kublai takes over South China and half-smiles at Marco, which is to say he is somewhat off the hook. But who knows with this show, really.

Now for some awards:

The award for the most gruesome moment in this episode goes to: Chabi stabbing Kokachin‘s vajayjay to give her a pass on her virginity test. If I had to pick a moment in the season, it’s between this and the heel breaking.

The award for what made me the most excited in this episode goes to: Prince Jingim‘s braids.

The award for the saddest person in this episode goes to: Marco Polo. Can’t get the girl. Sweats a lot. We all know he cries himself to sleep. Must be rough living amongst Mongols.

The award for the baddest bitch in town this episode goes to: Hundred Eyes. Man, such skill. Also, thanks to him I don’t have to see Sidao’s disgusting preying mantis, but I will miss the guy’s wisdom and his way of making me feel like after watching Marco Polo I’d actually know how to win a war.

And finally, I will reveal what I am most excited about for next season (aside from Jingim, because we all know I become obsessed with anything that broods): The return of the BEST INTRO IN THE WORLD. I am SO into the intro that even Remy Hii knows about my emotional dependency to it. (Remy, if you’re reading this, I want you to know I’m warming up my vocal chords.)

Ready, set, Marco Polo weekend.

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